Letter

December 20th, 2022.

To: Dirk Bosmans

From: Your Brubi

Well, I still remember your last words echoing in the living room "I will be back in a minute, honey"... well, there are already 1.749.600 minutes of waiting and nothing of seeing you back at my side. Do you have any idea how it feels to wait for almost two million minutes knowing that you are probably never coming back home?

You died in the bathroom and your blood was left on the floor for several days. But even with all the blood on the floor and the image of a tragedy, I had to use the bathroom , trying to avoid touch your blood, your glasses and teeth that were still reminding the horror. The fact I had physiological needs besides your death showed me that life don't waits for nothing, not even when she remains empty. There is no time for death.

"Time is a healer", they all say the same. But we both know that time just send everything away, the feeling of the touch, the color of the eyes, the small details of an adventure or a disaster... time is a destructive element of the memory and of the construction of who we really are. Now I understand why you were so much against the clock. Time just fade all away, the best and the worst.

But against the grain, time could not steal our love away or the pain of loosing the only one I really loved for eternity till that moment.

I still miss you and at the same time feel you around all the time, in everything I do there is flash of light that is your shadow. And I don't want to get free of that not even in thousand years, honey.

I play the game of this earth... I am functional as you must know.I work good, fuck good, get more pretty with time and even respond my friends as if my world has no ended three years and a half ago. I am the greatest actress I ever meet thanks to you... so good that people will never believe that I am already dead for a very very long time, that's why I can't care much about anything although I pretend well.

I will not lie to you, the freedom of be already dead is wonderful. Not that pressure of life anymore.. if all go well, great. If not, great also kkkkk since there is nothing to lose. anymore.

I guess I have only one fear.. that I died for you. Because you were me and I was you and if we die for each other we stop existing and this get me scared as hell, because as all this fool around I also want to continue existing in a memory full of us.

I wish I have cared of your hair more times, I wish I have made you feel loved more times and that I have said that you were all to me more times till you believe because I am not so sure you did.

I am very sorry for being the most egoist and arrogant person I know. I wish you knew that I always though you thousand times better than me, you could do anything... really anything and I knew it. I was afraid of nothing near of you because you are more than a heroe, you were the strongest and smartest man I ever knew. And I just had my pollical and social discussions all the time while you did everything. I guess that looking at the mirror we were really one, you with your tools... me with my thinking. We were finally invincible.

Well, today will make 7 (seven) years that I meet you and I will finally eat that olives you knew were my favorite. I kept them since you died for a special occasion. What could be more special than meet you, honey?

Well, me and Fernando will make a good dinner to celebrate you. I will not bother you with more drama... just know that I am sited here in this way waiting for you... forever.

Oh just to you know... I remember our first night talking by brosix.. I was at Miguelopolis and you task me to go naked at the lake in the middle of the night. I got afraid because of bats kkkk and you were so special that made me feel absolutely secure... I felt in love by you that night.. in that December 20th... at the lake.

And I am still in love with you... every minute of the day.

Happy day, angel.

From the love of your existence,

Brubi.